Everything He Wanted
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: Today is the happiest day of her life. I should be happy for her today. So tell me why are these tears in my eyes? I know I should be happy for her. But I've lost everything. I've lost everything I ever wanted today...


A sad, one-sided Lassiet story based on the Gary Allan song, Today. Enjoy, and please review!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

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Today was the happiest day of Juliet O'Hara's life.

Standing on the beach, with friends and family looking on in approval, she could barely breathe.

Beside her, serving as her matron of honor, Karen Vick smiled proudly.

Across from them, Gus, Lassiter, and Henry stood beside Shawn. He had spent weeks agonizing over who would stand beside him (besides Gus) until Juliet finally said he could have whoever he wanted. So he had asked his dad and Lassiter to stand beside him while he married the love of her life.

Her father and mother had flown in from Miami, and her brothers were sitting with them, along with Shawn's mother.

They had talked about what kind of wedding they wanted for months, until they finally settled on a small ceremony on the beach, with just their family and friends. It was intimate, special, just like they wanted.

And everyone was happy for them. All except one.

Beside Gus, Carlton Lassiter shifted uncomfortably. Why had he even agreed to doing this? It was only torture for him. He was watching the woman he loved marry the man of her dreams.

He could hear Gus sniffling beside him, and he rolled his eyes. But inwardly, he felt like crying himself. And he never cried.

Except when it came to her.

The preacher smiled warmly at the young couple. "The rings?"

Gus stepped forward and handed his best friend two gold bands.

"Shawn, take your ring and place it on Juliet's finger as a symbol of your undying love and devotion."

Shawn took Juliet's left hand and gently slid the wedding band onto her finger. Then he brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed her knuckles.

"With this ring, I thee wed."

Tears rolled down Juliet's cheeks as she took her gold band and slipped it onto Shawn's finger.

"With this ring, I thee wed."

Lassiter swallowed hard as Shawn lifted Juliet's veil. He had never seen a more beautiful bride, and she was marrying someone else.

And there was nothing he could do about it.

_Today, he told her that he loved her_

_Put a ring around her finger_

_And promised her forever, together_

_Today, she smiled for all the pictures_

_And he was right there with her_

_Making all the memories without me_

After the ceremony, the wedding party went to a nearby hall that Henry Spencer had rented for the occasion.

While Juliet and Shawn were hugging friends and family, Lassiter went to the bar and sat down. If he was going to make it through the rest of this, he would need a little liquid courage first.

After he had downed two shots of whiskey, Gus approached the bar and sat down beside Lassiter. "Hey."

Lassiter growled. "Go away, Guster."

Gus ignored him. "Are you okay, Carlton?"

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, it's a wedding, and you're drinking alone at the bar."

Lassiter scrubbed a hand roughly over his face. "I'm fine, Guster. Just leave me alone."

Gus sighed. Then he did something that surprised both of them. He reached out and patted Lassiter's shoulder comfortingly. Then he slid off of the bar stool and walked away.

Lassiter stared down into his shot glass. "Guess she's really gone," he whispered. He had never allowed himself to say those words out loud before now, because it would make the whole situation real. She was really gone, moving on with her life. With Shawn Spencer.

"I need another shot."

_And it hurts to say this out loud_

_Looks like she's really gone now_

After another shot, Lassiter felt anger bubble up in his chest.

He should have been happy for her. Juliet was his partner, his best friend. He wanted her to have everything her heart desired. She deserved it. And she wanted Shawn Spencer.

He rested his head in his hand and sighed. They would probably buy a house, have a few kids... The life he had once envisioned with his ex-wife, Victoria, and the life he had briefly envisioned with Juliet. But he had never shown her his true feelings for her. Why, he didn't know. Maybe he didn't want to lose her as a partner. Maybe it was his own stupid pride. Or maybe he didn't want to risk having his heart ripped out and shown to him again.

Either way, he hadn't told her. And now she was Juliet Spencer.

He felt like he should be happy for her. After all, this was what she wanted. She had spent the past year talking about her upcoming wedding, and he had never seen a woman glow like that before. She truly was happy.

So why couldn't he be happy for her as well?

_Today is the happiest day of her life_

_I should be happy for her today_

_So tell me why are these tears in my eyes?_

_I know I should be happy for her_

_But I've lost everything_

_I've lost everything I've ever wanted today_

Finally the alcohol was kicking in, and he ran his fingertip along the rim of the glass.

Almost two years ago, he'd had the perfect opportunity to tell her. And like a fool, he hadn't.

They had been working late on a case at his apartment. They were eating Chinese, and he was drinking a beer as she pored over the file for the hundredth time or more.

In the soft light, even with her brow furrowed and her mouth twisted in a frown, she had looked so beautiful. If there was ever a moment to kiss a woman, it was then. But he hadn't.

Instead, he had buried his nose in crime scene photos and let that moment pass.

Now, like a damn fool, he was regretting it.

She didn't miss him at all, either. She was incredibly happy with Spencer. Much happier than he had ever seen her before. And probably happier than he could have ever made her.

She had found a new beginning, one that would lead her to a happy and complete life.

And he would have no part in that new life.

_Today I thought about the moment_

_I could have said I loved her_

_And promised her forever, together_

_Today, today it really hit me_

_That she don't really miss me_

_She's found a new beginning_

Still he found himself wishing that he could have one more chance. One chance to tell her that he loved her, and one chance to get everything that he had ever wanted.

But that chance was gone.

"Carlton."

He turned around to see Juliet standing beside him. Her eyes sparkled, and there was a blush in her cheeks he was certain hadn't been put there by alcohol.

She was the most stunning bride he had ever seen, and she had married another man.

"Hey."

She laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay, Carlton?" Her voice was laced with concern.

He nodded, but it was an empty move. He would never be okay again. Not entirely, anyway.

She sat down beside him. She could read him like an open book, and she knew that something was wrong.

He turned and faced her, his heart breaking.

"Dance with me?"

_And I'm wishing I had one more chance_

_God knows it's too late for that_

She nodded, and he stood up, taking her hand and leading her onto the dance floor as a slow song started.

As he pulled her close, Juliet laid her hand on his chest and looked up into his deeply sad eyes. "What is it, Carlton?" she murmured.

He opened his mouth, but quickly stopped. He had been called a heartless bastard before, and he hated it. He wouldn't ruin the happiest day of her life to try and make himself feel a little less guilty. His moment had passed, and he had to find a way to accept that.

"Carlton?"

Letting out a soft breath, he forced a smile and affectionately kissed her forehead. "I'm so happy for you, Juliet."

"Really?"

"Yes. Spencer... he'll treat you right." Or they would never find his body.

She smiled. "He will, Carlton. He loves me."

"And you love him."

She made a sound of contentment. "I do. Very much."

"Then that's all I need."

He said those words with a confidence that he didn't really feel. He wanted to be the one who made her that happy. But he had lost his chance, and now he had to find a way to move on with his own life.

Sensing his hesitation, she leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Carlton."

"You're welcome, Juliet."

_Today is the happiest day of her life_

_I should be happy for her today_

_So tell me why are these tears in my eyes?_

_I know I should be happy for her_

_But I've lost everything_

_I've lost everything I've ever wanted today_

"Lassie! Do you mind if I steal my beautiful bride away?" Shawn grinned at Lassiter, his eyes bright and smile joyful.

Lassiter hesitated, then finally let his hands fall away. Juliet stepped away from him, into her new husband's arms.

Gus picked up a microphone, beaming. "It's time for the happy couple's first dance as husband and wife. Congratulations, guys."

As the first strains of I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You filtered through the sound system, Lassiter stumbled off of the dance floor.

He glanced one time over his shoulder, back at the happy couple. Juliet was wrapped up in Shawn's arms, her head resting against his chest and her eyes closed. He had his chin on the top of her head, and his fingers tangled in her hair. Both wore expressions of utter contentment, and Lassiter felt his heart break just a little more.

He would never have that with her.

_Today is the happiest day of her life_

_I should be happy for her_

_But I've lost everything_

_I've lost everything I've ever wanted_

He made his way outside and found his way to his car.

He should have been so happy for her, because she was happy. But all he felt was pain, and it was his own damn fault. Because of himself, he had lost everything he had ever wanted.

But he had to find a way to get past that, because he wanted her to stay happy. He had been alone for a long time, and he would adjust. But if she knew how unhappy he was, she would try to fix it. And in his heart, he knew he could only be fixed by her.

That wasn't going to happen.

At least he could take solace in the fact that she was happy with Spencer. He would treat her right and love her the way she deserved to be loved. The way Lassiter couldn't love her. She had someone who would love her the rest of his life. Someone who was entirely devoted to her. That thought eased his pain a little.

"Be happy, Juliet," he said softly as he opened his car door. "Whatever you do, be happy."

Later she would ask where he went, but right now, he would back away and avoid letting anything take away from the happiest day of her life.

She deserved that much from him.

_Today, he told her that he loved her_

_Put a ring around her finger_

The End.

A/N: Awww. Poor Lassie. He's always getting shafted in my stories. LMAO. Maybe I'll write something where he's actually happy... eventually. Mwahahaha. Thanks for reading, and please review!


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